the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
