So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
