dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
