I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
