Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
