If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
