so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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