I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
