I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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