how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
