just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we're making bets on your personal life
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
