What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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