I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
