I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
