my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize