Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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