I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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