I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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