yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
