Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
