My hair reeks of homosexuality.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
