he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
