In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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