1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
