Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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