She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize