He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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