New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
