I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
