lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
