idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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