taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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