I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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