So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
