wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
