I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
