just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
