forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Do vagina's smell?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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