He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
