I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize