Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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