I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
