Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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