Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
