he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize