Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
