he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
