Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
