Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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