he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
