I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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