Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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