When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
