How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
