i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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