maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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