That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
