I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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