he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
In other news, I just burned my penis
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize