If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
