Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
