i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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