so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
