Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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