My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
