who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize