Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize