I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
